The Myth
Here's what most people think emotional regulation means: staying calm. Being the bigger person. Not losing your sh*t.
Wrong.
What It Actually Is
Emotional regulation isn't about staying calm. It's about moving through your emotions without getting stuck in them or letting them run the show.
You can be regulated and angry. You can be regulated and crying. You can be regulated and absolutely furious with your partner. What you can't do when you're regulated is throw a plate at the wall, shut down for three days, or spiral into a story about how everything is fucked forever.
The myth that regulation equals calm is exactly why so many people think they're failing at it.
What This Looks Like
It's noticing when you're ramping up and taking a breath before you say the thing you can't take back. It's feeling the heat in your chest and letting it be there without acting on it immediately. It's catching yourself mid-spiral and saying "okay, I'm in a story right now."
Your nervous system isn't designed to keep you calm. It's designed to keep you safe.
The Real Goal
Regulation isn't peace. Its presence.
And honestly? That's a lot more achievable than being calm all the time.
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For strategies on how to manage your emotions when overwhelmed, download my Emotional Regulation Playbook here 👇🏼
Take care,
Siobhan ✌🏼
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